The Diaries of a Freaking Annoying Fairy
by hyoi
Summary: Have you ever wondered what the adventure is like through the sidekick's eyes? Find out by taking a peek into navi's diary and see the side of Ocarina of Time that was never meant to be told. WARNING: Extremely random content.


Note that I do not own The Legend of Zelda, Link, Navi, firewood, or random dressers. What the hell DO I own?

Welcome to my first fan fic, the result of slaving over a hot computer for half an hour.  
Unfortunately, someone already beat me to a navi diary, but that won't stop me. I hope that people will like my fic. and that was a threat. DEAL WITH IT! 

Author's note: anything that is not italicized is myself.

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**_Day 1, 6:00 PM:  
Dear diary, this must have been the worst day of my life. The deku tree told me to pair up with the idiot without the fairy. After being told (forced) to get to the kid's house, not only did I get a concussion from running into a fence, but the kid was sleeping. HARD._**

**_I yelled at him for almost five hours before I got angry and whacked him with a dresser. Being superstitious, I noticed the mirror broke. Seven year's bad luck. I have a bad felling about this. After I woke him up (and removed the glass shards) he asked who the hell I was. I whacked him with the dresser again.  
I said to him that I was his new fairy assistant for the rest of his life. He started screaming like a maniac. After adding a third dent in his head, we finally left._**

**_Hitting him that much must have given him brain damage (or he's just an idiot), because he ignored the stairs completely, and fell ten feet head first. Thinking about if anyone would notice the red grass, I noticed him talking to that creep Saria. That girl always gave me bad vibes. I'm pretty sure she said something about fairies. I bet that she-witch is talking about me behind my back. Note to self: See if deku nut gas is poisonous._**

**_We came to the path of the deku tree, but it was blocked by that one kid. What was his name, Midy? Anyway, he told us that link is a weakling (hehe) and needed to get a sword and sheild before we could see that pile of wood. I had to agree with him, that kid was as strong as Deku babas are smart. We searched high and low for weapons, but couldn't find squat. Up until link got stuck in a hole, that is. I had to push him a little to get him unstuck. unfortuately, I am a LOT stronger than I look, so I pushed too hard and shot him through the hole. When I came through, I found him running around being chased by a giant boulder screming his spleen out.How does that boulder keep moving anyway? _**(muahahaha)_** After cleaning up the guts, I carried him over to a treasure chest that was sitting on a tree stump. There was a sign sitting next to it. It said, "Beware of Wolfos". I looked over, and found the chest opened with a chewed up kid sitting on the ground. "Heh, wrong chest," I said. So I carried him over to the OTHER chest and let him get the Kokiri sword.**_

**_ After being denied entry by Midy again (geez, what does he want from us?), we managed to "persuade" him to let us through (lucky I keep a good dresser in handy). Walking halfway down the path, a few deku babas popped up and obstructed our way. After weilding his Kokiri sword and deku shield, he sliced these living poles until we had enough firewood for a week (even though he preferred using them as weapons, the idiot). He then sat down in the grass. A few seconds later, they regrew. He then went insane and started chopping them again. This repeated another seven times. I finally uprooted those annoying plants._**

_**FINALLY, we spoke to the Deku Tree. He asked us if we could travel through his insect filled innards to destroy a giant beast for a rock. He also said he would give us free biscuts. At that point I then realized all my friends were idiots. I was about to turn him down, but that damn kid said yes and skipped gleefully inside. My goddesses… I swear or so help me as soon as atomic bombs are invented I will seal that stupid idiot in a steel box with one inside AND LET IT SINK TO THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN AND WATCH IT EXPLODE!!!!! doodles of link being killed in numerous ways**_

… you really need to see that therapist.  
**_SHUT UP!!!!!_**

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-.- I know, it was a very small chapter, but this was my first fan-fic. At least I finished the first part, that counts for something, right?

Navi: No. It sucked.

You know you just insulted your own diary.

Navi: '-.- you have a point. Stupid author.

Woo! Hyoi one, Navi zero!

Chapter 2 coming soon! please R & R!

Merry day to all, and to all a good March!


End file.
